7.19.05
Boy, oh boy. I gotta tell you; the Spirit of God is manifesting himself in me heavily tonight. I keep remembering great things from a kenneth Copeland tape I listen to in the car: ‘I’m a believer. I am not a doubter. My God is the God of abundance...I am not an in bondage man...I have a Father. I have a Daddy. And He’s rich. And He loves me. And He takes care of me. And I love him, with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind and strength. Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. I fully expect to do great and marvelous things just because he asked me. And I expect him to do great and marvelous things just because I ask him,” and more.
I don’t...there’s so much going on that it seems like my fingers aren’t going fast enough to keep up with this outflow of information. Makes me really glad I took typing in high school, so I can have some semblance of being able to keep up.
The joy of the Lord, the solid happiness that he instills in you, is powerful in me. I am so happy, beyond the sugar I’ve had (sugar-heavy lunch) that I just don’t know what to say beyond ‘Bless the Lord God forever. Glory to his name! Praise Jesus!”
Now, to an outsider, this may look like the rantings of a blithering religious idiot, a fanatic. But to an insider, one who’s experienced such things, I hope this isn’t too strange.
I thought about getting a point for all this for this blog, but the point is simply to praise God--to give glory to him, because it’s the right thing to do, it’s what I want to do, and because I know that without him I...can...do...nothing. Ahh, but _with_ him, I can do anything that’s in his will. All things are possible with Jesus. Really. There’s nothing you can ask or think or desire or anything that’s in his will that God can’t do. There are some things that he _won’t_ do, because they’re out of his will, or they’re against his nature. And I know there are challenges that can be made, like can God make a stone so heavy he can’t lift it? I don’t know. Does it matter? No. There are some things about God, many things, actually, that defy logic. Which is good, since he doesn’t go by the world’s logic anyway. This is what’s so hard for many people to understand, “God’s of thinking says, “Love your enemy”. They don’t understand it becuse their minds haven’t been renewed, their thinking changed to think not the way the world thinks but the way God thinks, the way God does things. It’s the whole “love your enemy” thing. Why should I love my enemy? Because in doing so you’re heaping coals of fire on his head--his spirit will convict him, and maybe he’ll change his ways, maybe, and wind up on your side. Again, teh world might think, “surrre...that’ll happen”, but the God way of thinking says, “It could happen.” Love your enemy. Forgive them. Pray for them. And in the process you’re getting cleansed yourself. The Bible says, “Forgive, and you’ll be forgiven.” You’ve got to forgive. There’s just no two ways about it. If you want to be forgiven, you’ve got to forgive, and that’s a decision. You go from “I think I can forgive them” to “I want to forgive them” to “I forgive them”. It’s a process. And, as Joyce Meyer says, know that, probably, the most important person for you to forgive is yourself.
There’s so much to say, and maybe I’m going on a bit here, but I think the above is the crux of what’s going on here.
Wednesday, 20 July 2005
Saturday, 16 July 2005
millionairedom
7.15.05
What’s it like to be a millionaire? That’s what this blog is gonna be about--or, rather, speculations on what it’s like to be one. Most of this would have to be hypothetical, since I’m not one yet.
I think it depends on what sort of person you are, firstly, and how you came to it, secondly.
But as to _being_ a millionaire, on an ongoing basis, I should think that’s got its own problems and surprises. Of the few people I know who are millionaires, which I can count on one hand, I’ve noticed that they’re generally hard-working, diligent, disciplined, intelligent folk. In other words, they’re pretty normal. I think their lives are easier as long as they’re living within their means, but I also think all that’s proportional. If you make $75K/year and spent 85, you’re still stretched. Same as if you make 35K and spend 40K--or if you make a million and spend a million-point-two. I think it comes down to discipline.
The more I write on this blog, the more it comes clear to me that, except in name, being a millionaire is no different from being a thousandaire or having hundred bucks in your account. If you owe more than you have, you’re still stressed. If not, you’re fine. I even think sometimes millionaires might have to save up for things, depending on what their outgo is.
Realistically, I do think life’s easier for the upper-class folk because of their discipline and resultant resources. Money is not everything, as said in a Denzel Washington movie, but it helps. Life is just easier. It’s not going to fix all of one’s problems, but it’s going to help with a lot of them.
So what do I think it’s like, being a millionaire? Depends. could be fantastic or it could be a beast. I’ll let you know when I am one.
Something else that occurs to me is the goal a lot of folks, myself to some extent included, of becoming a millionaire. There’s a problem with that. What do you do when you are one? One million dollars is not a lifetime’s worth of money or satisfaction. What is next. People need something to focus on or their minds go a bit wonky. There are the idle, bored rich and the idle, bored poor, both of whom may share the same problem--laziness, not having a goal and not having a desire to go after it once one does have a goal.
Truth to tell, I’ve no idea what it’s like to be a millionaire. Never been one. But I suspect it’s a lot like having less money than that.
What’s it like to be a millionaire? That’s what this blog is gonna be about--or, rather, speculations on what it’s like to be one. Most of this would have to be hypothetical, since I’m not one yet.
I think it depends on what sort of person you are, firstly, and how you came to it, secondly.
But as to _being_ a millionaire, on an ongoing basis, I should think that’s got its own problems and surprises. Of the few people I know who are millionaires, which I can count on one hand, I’ve noticed that they’re generally hard-working, diligent, disciplined, intelligent folk. In other words, they’re pretty normal. I think their lives are easier as long as they’re living within their means, but I also think all that’s proportional. If you make $75K/year and spent 85, you’re still stretched. Same as if you make 35K and spend 40K--or if you make a million and spend a million-point-two. I think it comes down to discipline.
The more I write on this blog, the more it comes clear to me that, except in name, being a millionaire is no different from being a thousandaire or having hundred bucks in your account. If you owe more than you have, you’re still stressed. If not, you’re fine. I even think sometimes millionaires might have to save up for things, depending on what their outgo is.
Realistically, I do think life’s easier for the upper-class folk because of their discipline and resultant resources. Money is not everything, as said in a Denzel Washington movie, but it helps. Life is just easier. It’s not going to fix all of one’s problems, but it’s going to help with a lot of them.
So what do I think it’s like, being a millionaire? Depends. could be fantastic or it could be a beast. I’ll let you know when I am one.
Something else that occurs to me is the goal a lot of folks, myself to some extent included, of becoming a millionaire. There’s a problem with that. What do you do when you are one? One million dollars is not a lifetime’s worth of money or satisfaction. What is next. People need something to focus on or their minds go a bit wonky. There are the idle, bored rich and the idle, bored poor, both of whom may share the same problem--laziness, not having a goal and not having a desire to go after it once one does have a goal.
Truth to tell, I’ve no idea what it’s like to be a millionaire. Never been one. But I suspect it’s a lot like having less money than that.
Friday, 15 July 2005
wow, again
Well, it's official--I'm in a bona-fide hit movie. I'm an extra/inmate in _The Longest Yard_, which has to date made over $152 million. Not bad, and to think that, thanks to God and my friend Katharine, and a sympathetic extras coordinator, I got to be part of it. And you can actually see me in the movie, and in at least one trailer. I just thank God for that, and I believe it's just the beginning.
This is a dream come true, sort of, for me. See, I wanted for so long to be in a movie and then be in my favorite movie theater here where I live and watch myself. I'm not in the movie much, just briefly, and you have to know where and when to look, but I'm there.
The other, even greater, dream, is to see my name in the primary credits of a major, nationally-released movie. Not there yet, but if it's of God, it'll happen.
Later, folks.
This is a dream come true, sort of, for me. See, I wanted for so long to be in a movie and then be in my favorite movie theater here where I live and watch myself. I'm not in the movie much, just briefly, and you have to know where and when to look, but I'm there.
The other, even greater, dream, is to see my name in the primary credits of a major, nationally-released movie. Not there yet, but if it's of God, it'll happen.
Later, folks.
Saturday, 9 July 2005
Englis/land
Well, I've decided something: I'd love to visit England for a few months, maybe even longer. If for no other reason than to hear and learn to practice more proper English. After this time in Tulsa, I need a refresher course for my psyche, lest I let my English skills deteriorate by osmosis.
I'm sure some people in England don't use proper English, either, but at least they'll sound better speaking badly. What I've noticed is that I am hearing less of the southern accent here, meaning my ears are getting attuned to it. I don't want them to, really. Not Oklahoma southern, anyway. I do like the Texas and Georgia accents, even Louisiana, but Oklahoma is too twangy and harsh. At least TX and GA have a certain rhythm to them, a flow, and I understand LA is even more flowy, musical, perhaps even charming. I think it'd be a good challenge to go to the bayous, to cajun country and see if I can understand a single word of the thickest accents there.
I digress.
I think, from what I know of England, the place is utterly charming. Not in a provincial sense; in a more worldly sense. Not utopia but...nice. I could probably get bawled out there and enjoy it just because of the accent with which the person who's upset with me speaks.
Maybe I'll make a trip to England a goal of mine. Something to believe for. I'm not sure, but maybe.
Here's an interesting question: as big and great as America is, how is it that a person can go their whole lives and not want to visit, out of curiosity, another country? I mean, just to see what it's like. American is home for me, but sometimes you want to get away from it to widen your worldview, and one of the net effects afterwards is a greater appreciation of home. One of my high school teachers said he thought it should be required that after high school or college, people should be required to spend a year in a foreign country if for no other reason than to realize how good they've got it in America. Smart man, that.
I'm sure some people in England don't use proper English, either, but at least they'll sound better speaking badly. What I've noticed is that I am hearing less of the southern accent here, meaning my ears are getting attuned to it. I don't want them to, really. Not Oklahoma southern, anyway. I do like the Texas and Georgia accents, even Louisiana, but Oklahoma is too twangy and harsh. At least TX and GA have a certain rhythm to them, a flow, and I understand LA is even more flowy, musical, perhaps even charming. I think it'd be a good challenge to go to the bayous, to cajun country and see if I can understand a single word of the thickest accents there.
I digress.
I think, from what I know of England, the place is utterly charming. Not in a provincial sense; in a more worldly sense. Not utopia but...nice. I could probably get bawled out there and enjoy it just because of the accent with which the person who's upset with me speaks.
Maybe I'll make a trip to England a goal of mine. Something to believe for. I'm not sure, but maybe.
Here's an interesting question: as big and great as America is, how is it that a person can go their whole lives and not want to visit, out of curiosity, another country? I mean, just to see what it's like. American is home for me, but sometimes you want to get away from it to widen your worldview, and one of the net effects afterwards is a greater appreciation of home. One of my high school teachers said he thought it should be required that after high school or college, people should be required to spend a year in a foreign country if for no other reason than to realize how good they've got it in America. Smart man, that.
Wednesday, 6 July 2005
unfinished blog
7.5.05
It’s been quite a while since I posted a real blog, something that went into depth about something. I think this is mostly because of not having access to the computer for while. The ole one kept screwing up, and eventually Apple sent a new one to replace it. I’ve beeen noodling around with the new one in classic kid-in-a-candy store fashion for about a week or two.
Something embarrassing happened: I lost a story by a writer whos story I’d accepted for publication on my webzine. So now I’ve e-mailed him to ask for another copy of the thing, but I don’t know whether he’s gotten the mesage or what he’ll do. I hope he’s not upset, but if he is, he is. :(
What else is going on? A lot of cool spiritual stuff, some of which I can share, some of which I’m not sure I should, for various reasons (nothing particularly bad). Just...God’s been bringing me from, as they say, strength to strength--showing me more of the meaning in the scriptures. Amazing, is what it is; that I can have read the same scriptures so often and get more out of them so often--then again, that’s one reason the Bible’s held up so well for so long: there’s a lot to it.
I was commenting on my sister’s cat yesterday, comparing them to dogs. I said a dog is cool, but a cat is a _cat_. I meant the emphasis to be on the cat--as if that word should speak for itself. Her husband commented on how profound I was, how deep, saying a cat was a cat. I don’t think he got it. Then again, us geniuses are often misunderstood. I know I am. Or he is--he’s got a higher IQ than I by about sixteen points. My brother’s is higher, too, I think. I mean, mine’s above normal, but not quite bright. Great. I’m not bright. I’m above normal, but, not bright. Oh well. How puts stock in IQs anyway.
Me, evidently.
I’m sooo loving this new computer. It’s, like, a pound lighter than, or a bit anyway, than the last one. It’s faster. It’s certainly cleaner, as well it should be, considering it’s only two weeks old.
I already spilled coffee on the keyboard. Cleaned it up, of course (duhrr), but I consider it christened now.
Y’know, years ago, a 250MB hard drive was doing pretty good. Heck, an 80MB hard drive wasn’t that bad. Now hard drives are a thousand times bigger in terms of storage ability, and this in maybe twelve, thirteen years. Now the RAM, even being a bit stingy, is bigger than the old hard drives. And I still feel a tiny bit pinched. I have 30G on my hard drive, thirteen or so of which is free. I want to delete a bunch of stuff, but I haven’t gotten round to figuring out what is safe to delete and what’s not. Most everything that can be readily deletes is safe to do so--the rest is stuff the computer won’t let me delete--safeguards and all. Otherwise, I could zero out the computer, and then where would I be? Well, about the same place--I’ve got the data I need stored and I’ve got CDs of the software I need. But that’s a little drastic, wiping the hard drive just to free up some space. Kinda like hooking a dandelion up to a monster truck when weeding.
It’s been quite a while since I posted a real blog, something that went into depth about something. I think this is mostly because of not having access to the computer for while. The ole one kept screwing up, and eventually Apple sent a new one to replace it. I’ve beeen noodling around with the new one in classic kid-in-a-candy store fashion for about a week or two.
Something embarrassing happened: I lost a story by a writer whos story I’d accepted for publication on my webzine. So now I’ve e-mailed him to ask for another copy of the thing, but I don’t know whether he’s gotten the mesage or what he’ll do. I hope he’s not upset, but if he is, he is. :(
What else is going on? A lot of cool spiritual stuff, some of which I can share, some of which I’m not sure I should, for various reasons (nothing particularly bad). Just...God’s been bringing me from, as they say, strength to strength--showing me more of the meaning in the scriptures. Amazing, is what it is; that I can have read the same scriptures so often and get more out of them so often--then again, that’s one reason the Bible’s held up so well for so long: there’s a lot to it.
I was commenting on my sister’s cat yesterday, comparing them to dogs. I said a dog is cool, but a cat is a _cat_. I meant the emphasis to be on the cat--as if that word should speak for itself. Her husband commented on how profound I was, how deep, saying a cat was a cat. I don’t think he got it. Then again, us geniuses are often misunderstood. I know I am. Or he is--he’s got a higher IQ than I by about sixteen points. My brother’s is higher, too, I think. I mean, mine’s above normal, but not quite bright. Great. I’m not bright. I’m above normal, but, not bright. Oh well. How puts stock in IQs anyway.
Me, evidently.
I’m sooo loving this new computer. It’s, like, a pound lighter than, or a bit anyway, than the last one. It’s faster. It’s certainly cleaner, as well it should be, considering it’s only two weeks old.
I already spilled coffee on the keyboard. Cleaned it up, of course (duhrr), but I consider it christened now.
Y’know, years ago, a 250MB hard drive was doing pretty good. Heck, an 80MB hard drive wasn’t that bad. Now hard drives are a thousand times bigger in terms of storage ability, and this in maybe twelve, thirteen years. Now the RAM, even being a bit stingy, is bigger than the old hard drives. And I still feel a tiny bit pinched. I have 30G on my hard drive, thirteen or so of which is free. I want to delete a bunch of stuff, but I haven’t gotten round to figuring out what is safe to delete and what’s not. Most everything that can be readily deletes is safe to do so--the rest is stuff the computer won’t let me delete--safeguards and all. Otherwise, I could zero out the computer, and then where would I be? Well, about the same place--I’ve got the data I need stored and I’ve got CDs of the software I need. But that’s a little drastic, wiping the hard drive just to free up some space. Kinda like hooking a dandelion up to a monster truck when weeding.
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