thank God--something big!

5.25.06

Okay, so I’ve been busy for awhile. Those of you who know me especially well know I’ve been looking for a car for a long time and praying about it. Looks like there’s a car for me: it’s a Corolla, which I’m happy about. I drove it again for the first time in a long time and was surprised at how fun it is. It’s also about the only car I can get for payments that’ll stretch out long enough to be in my range on a month-to-month basis.
I’ve prayed about the thing and will get further prayer in a while with my pastor, and we’ll just see how things work out. It’s time. Sounds like I’ve made up my mind already, doesn’t it? I have for myself, but I submit myself to the will of God--what He says goes.

Later in the day:

Okay, so I got together with my pastor, prayed, prayed on my on own as he suggested, then went to the dealer. Long story short, bless and praise and thank God, I’m driving a new car, a good one, and from the best dealer in town. And to think that a year-and-a-half ago I was very close to being homeless. Now, thanks to God and His favor, I’m in an apartment in a good area of town, driving the best car I’ve ever had and still have money for food and keeping bills paid. I thank God so much, and I dedicated the car to God, because He’s the one who provided the means and the favor to get it. Really, I’m just a steward of it. It’ll provide a great chance to witness, being a pretty big, concrete thing.

I don’t say all this to brag, because without God’s favor in my life, none of this would have happened. Now more than ever, I need Him--it’s only through Him that I’ll pay this debt, that the angels around me will protect me from others and from myself (along with my own diligence to be a good driver). I tell you, I don’t know what else to say but that God is here and He is alive and He loves me (which I know with or without the car) and He is working in my life! I have a lot more to do and it’s only through Him that it’ll get done, but bless God for what’s happened so far, and I thank Him in advance for what lies ahead.

thank God again!

Well, thank God, I got another thing paid off today. Now I can focus on the stuff that's more important to me. Glory to God for it!

feeling.

I've decided to feel again.

Strange beginning, but that's what I got.

i think for a long time I've closed myself off to the prospect of feeling deeply, as in order to do so, you must be vulnerable to injury.

I remember recently, a few times, feeling so hopeless where women are concerned. I wouldn't even let hope flare up a little when I saw somebody really attractive because I would think they were out of my league, that that wouldn't happen (anything meaningful with them) because that's never going to happen. That I'll never get what i really want, which is to get married to the right gal, because that's just not going to happen.

Last time that happened, I got a check in me, which was God taking me by the scruff of the neck with a gentle but firm hand and saying, "If you're good enough for Me, you're good enough for her. Don't you _ever_ think somebody's out of your league. There are lots of people that are not right for you, but nobody is out of your league. You're my son. You're a son of God." I think God's now adding, "Don't start thinking you're out of anybody's league. You're not out of theirs and they're not out of yours. You may not be right for each other, but you're no worse and no better than each other."

He' s also reminding me, "Remember who you are."

Will marriage happen for me? If it's God's will and if I'm obedient to God's will, then yes. If not, then no.