tuned in

So i got this in my prayer journal, where I write down what I feel like God is saying to me, today, and I felt like God wanted me to share it. Maybe it will help somebody:

"Dear Sean,

I have many words for you, chief among which is "obedience". You must trust in Me, the Lord your God. Do that unquestioningly by learning to hear My voice, and to that by setting aside time and listening, the following the unction, the leading, the still small voice of the Holy Spirit. It is like learning to hear one voice in a thousand, tuning your inner, spiritual ear, but once it is tunes, you must keep it tuned or it will go out of tune. Just as a car needs regular maintenance or a guitar needs regular tuning, so does your ear. So many Christians miss out on what I am trying to tell them because their ear has never been tuned or is out of tune.

The Holy Spirit's voice is subtle, but it is distinct. You will know My voice by spending time with me, listening to Me. I am the Lord."

addendum

I also love God and the Holy Spirit.

I love Jesus.

I was listening to another message today, and God reminded me that love is a decision. I had recently, more than once, asked God to help me love him more, but he reminded me that it is a decision, just as I had had to make a conscious decision that I love myself. I did that years ago, and it was a watershed moment in terms of how I saw myself before and then after. So now, I declare it to whoever wants to know: I love Jesus. Not that I didn't before, but I reaffirm it now. I love Jesus.

Thank you, God, for the reminder. :)

mountains, mole hills, verses

So I was worried very much that a purchase of mine was going to be multi-charged because of a boggle with the store's card reader. All this weekend, I was looking for a particular amount, not counting that the final amount was different than I'd remembered. Bottom line: the amount has been deducted from my account. Probably had been for days. Ugh. :)

I also have been looking for a verse to stand on regarding this move of mine, and I was listening to Jesse Duplantis talking about fulfilling God's vision for my life, and he mentioned the book of Acts. Acts chronicles the ACTS of the apostles. Acts. Actor. Okay, it's kind of a leap, and I'm no apostle that I know of, certainly, but he mentioned that people watch others; that's their witness to the world, and they influence the world through their actions. And I remember being called to be a man of influence. That doesn't necessarily mean some bigwig power-monger but to be a person that people watch and take a cue from. And I haven't much choice in that because people already do, whether I like it or not. I'm not being arrogant. Everybody is watched by others, and everybody has an influence on others. I think in this case, God's just emphasizing it, letting me know he wants to have a marked effect on people through me. No pressure, though. ;) I remember when I wanted to just slip through life unnoticed, have a regular job, retire and die and get back to heaven. I think God's put the kibosh on that.

I am still looking for a specific verse that says, in effect, that I'm--oh wait, God just reminded me: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6. That'll have to do until I find something that says it even more directly. Right now, I thank God for the reminder.

"Grace"

I was just watching an episode of Stargate SG-1 called "Grace". In it, the main character was reminded that there is more to life than just career and ambition; there's having somebody to share it with, somebody to lend balance. I've been going through that a little myself--my sister-in-law and I were talking about it and how it would be nice to find somebody with whom to share this adventure that is the acting career. I sort of discounted it, but kept it in mind, but this episode cemented it in my mind. For once, I'm more open to it; to continue to deny it and stiff-arm it would be to close myself off to a large part of what this life is about: learning to love intimately, to let another person in, give up some control, share one's life... I used to be "if it happens, it happens". Now I'm more "if it happens, good". I thank God for speaking into my life in different ways...like through TV shows. Particularly really good ones. :)

Treasure trove

Today, I discovered my late mother's spiritual journal. I had had it for some time. God showed it to me today while I was writing in my own spiritual journal. She even listened to even more of the same evangelists as I. I thank God for showing me this additional common thread between myself and my mother.

stuff healed

So I just noticed that something that had been wrong with my finger, something with one of the joints and which had been annoying me but which I'd prayed for, has healed. Glory and thanks to God for that!

Also, God's been working on me to just listen to what people say when listening to messages, not whether they use proper grammar or smack their lips or anything. If I focus on somebody's grammar, I'll miss, perhaps, something good they have to say, and if God's brought this person into my life, I can't afford to dismiss them.

madness and the last shred

I am watching the movie "Defiance". In it, I saw a trough of the dead bodies of Jews, and in that moment, I lost my last shred of faith in humanity. But then, my faith should not be in people but in God. I also understood why I have never understood, that is to say made sense of, the persecution of Jews. I am encouraged that I could understand it intellectually but never make sense of it; madness cannot really be understood except by those who are mad; sense cannot be made of the senseless.

People, I believe influenced by evil, sometimes do the most heinous things. I know this. I know it on another level now. I think the key is not to turn one's back on them but to love them (and thank God to love a person is a decision, not a feeling, as I don't feel all warm and fuzzy toward people when they do these things) because they are human, even if they do monstrous things. Jesus loves me though I have done things I heavily regret. To me, this makes "Love your neighbor" almost as much a challenge as a command.

They say if you can accomplish a dream by yourself, you're not dreaming big enough. Your dream should require a move of God. Tonight, it takes God to have me love people. It is useful to know that there are people who act like monsters. Always have been. But there are many more who don't. And then there is God, whose ways it sometimes takes faith to accept from our perspective, but who always loves me. And He is all I need, and while some people are lovely, it is only He who deserves my, or anybody's, complete faith. I thank God for reminding me of this.

one more thing

I also want to share this: I thought perhaps I'd injured my neck recently, but I prayed over it, and now it's healed. Has been for some time, but I just noticed it. I thank God for that, too. I kinda need my neck. ;)

great lesson

I got a CD in the mail from Moore Life Ministries called 'I Deserve It' talking about, basically, materialism, which is the attempt to satisfy a spiritual need with a material thing (which is an exercise in futility). Keith Moore mentioned, in his usual succinct and firm way, that if you can't be happy with a hundred dollars, you won't be happy with a hundred billion dollars. You'll always want more. Same way with that new car despite your own car being perfectly fine. Or that big house. Or even, shall we say, that new wife or husband.

Happiness is a decision, not a goal. And it comes from inside, not from what I have. Now it's great to have nice things and enjoy them, but I mustn't let my happiness rest on those things. This is something I need to work on. I'm satisfied materially with what I have. I don't really want anything more, at least not with the intensity that I once did. But would I be as satisfied if I didn't have my bass guitar and amplifier, if I didn't have the nice speakers for the stereo or the stereo at all? It's something for me to consider. Encouragingly, I think I might be--thinking back to when I had much, much less, I think that the happiness level was about the same, which is, though, not to say that it was where it needed to be.

When it comes down to it, though, my happiness should be dependent on perhaps two or three things: whether I'm still drawing breath, whether I'm saved and whether I've decided to be happy.

Today, I thank God for that message and for the attitude adjustment.

gratitude, of course, and a request

So, everybody, please pray for the well-being of a friend of mine--never mind who (God knows of whom I speak)--who is going through a very difficult time right now.

I'm grateful today for recognition and avoidance of traps, which can be sin-related or not; if we pay attention and let God guide us, he can show us patterns of behavior that typically lead us into behaving badly. It's easier to nip this stuff in the bud and not let Satan get a grip, or a foothold, than to pry him off once he's got his claws dug in.

I'm also grateful that a buddy and I get to do a scene for a local acting teacher and get some great feedback--I think we'll both take away some great stuff in terms of acting technique.

Finally, I'm grateful for rediscovering Veruca Salt, a pretty good band of whom I became aware in about 1997. Their faster songs are good, driving rock, fun, sometimes funny and with a good deal of attitude. Reminds me why I'm so attracted to tough-seeming chicks.

it's not too late

So I'm listening to a Keith Moore message right now, and he brought out a story from the Bible that impressed me in a new way today: So there's Jesus hanging on the cross, and he's got two thieves hanging on other crosses beside him. Here's how it went down: One thief blasphemed him and challenged him to save himself. The other rebuked the first and asked Jesus to remember him (the second), and Jesus said that that day, he would be with him (Jesus) in paradise. You can read it here. The key is this: as long as you're alive, it's not too late to get saved, no matter what you've done. Salvation is yours for the asking when you mean it and believe it.

If you're so inclined, say this out loud, and then tell somebody about it: "Lord God, take my life and do something with it. In Jesus' name, amen." For those who said that and meant it, welcome. You've just made the best decision of your life. Now I encourage you to get into a good church where the preach the Word of God (the Bible) and start learning and growing in this. I believe you'll be the better for it.

and so it begins

Several things to be grateful for this time out: for years, I've been uncomfortable around women, but I believe God's shown me a thing or two--the key seems to be a bit of confidence--that way I don't get tongue-tied around somebody in whom I'm interested.

I'm thankful that I prayed and voted for the right person in the last presidential election.

I'm thankful that I'm more willing. The thing for me in the past was to be willing to be willing. That was a step up for me. Now God's bringing me up a level to be actually willing to do what He wants me to do.

I'm thankful for great shopping--good food at good prices at a local supermarket. :)

I'm grateful for my job, for money, for gaining in wisdom in what to do with that (don't just go off and spend it but invest it in others and save it once those bills are paid), not least of which is getting more into savings and leaving it there for now. I'm also grateful for my stuff--this is stuff that God's gotten to me--good stuff at a great price--that turns out to be some of the best stuff for the money--but I also need to be willing to let it go if God asks me (or tells me) to sow it into somebody else's life, and so as of now I am. I just need to listen and hear God on it and then do it.

A huge thing is just growing and knowing more and more and starting to realize how much more I need to know. This side of Heaven, I'll not know everything, but I do know what I need for now, and God's showing me more as I need more, and I thank You, God, for that.

Finally, my relationships with people; God's blessed me with a great group of friends, confidantes, advisors in the form of relatives and others, whom God's brought into my life. These connections are not accidental, and I treasure them all, and I thank God for them and hope I can bless, or continue to bless, them as they have blessed and do bless me. Thank You, God, and thank you friends and family. I love you all.

Sounds like I'm saying goodbye, doesn't it? Not quite. ;)

done

Chalk up another screenplay about done. Actually, it's a revision of an earlier screenplay for which I got notes. So I followed them and am submitting it again. Please agree in prayer with me for favor with this reader such that it go to the next step, at least, beyond the initial read of this version.

more encouragement from a Keith Moore message

I've been listening to a lot of Keith Moore lately (you can, too--just download sermons here ), and one of the things I've learned is to give time to God. It's a good investment. So I did, a bit, in the form of journaling, and wow--God is just so overwhelming. I was trying to understand His love for me, and I don't know that I ever will. In this case, it seems to me the best thing is just to be thankful for it and appreciate it. This time, thank You, God, for being my Father, healer, provider, for Jesus my Savior and Lord, for the Holy Spirit my Comforter, and, most of all, thank You for love. Hallelujah.

message

I was listening to a Keith Moore message last night and got confirmed something I'd known in my spirit at least for a long time: one of the primary times when a person is likely to sin: then they are tired. I suppose it could be physical, mental, spiritual, any of these, but I think this is one of the primary reasons God mandates rest. A tired target is an easy target.
Thanks, God, for the insight and affirmation.

Cautionary tale

Just saw "Revolutionary Road". Great cautionary tale. We are here for a reason. We ignore that truth at our peril.

healing

I just noticed a toe that had been in pain is feeling much better now. The pain was like what you get if you stub your toe, only it goes on for days. I prayed over it, accepted healing by faith, and now that healing is manifesting. Praise and thank God for that! :)

today

Today I'm grateful for God's timing in the area of sermons/messages--I'd been stressing about something, and the service today seemed partially geared toward addressing that area. Thanks for your timing, God.

convenience

Today I'm grateful to God for convenience. I have been wanting to give away a bunch of my clothes but didn't do it yet because it seemed such a bother to get them all washed and in to, say, Goodwill (mostly all the washing involved). But very near me there is a clothing donation box in a store's parking lot. So I'm pretty well out of excuses--all I have to do is to do the wash and pack them in the car and dump them in the box across the street. Thanks, Father, for the convenience and taking away all of my excuses that I use to avoid doing what you say do but that I have tended to be slow about doing.

great gift,

So Friday I was pretty humbled, or I was once the gift a friend from work gave me was assembled. I'd been wanting a computer desk, and God provided one through this friend. I had a bit of trepidation, just because of where to put it and not looking forward to assembling it, but it's a high-quality unit, pretty easy to assemble and fits in an appropriate corner of the place. So I'm grateful for the generosity of friends. I'm also grateful to God for the friends in the first place. :)

today

Today, my niece got a job. Thank You, God. :)

salad or meat?

Those of you who know me can probably guess whether I would rather have salad or meat, and the answer to that hypothetical question is true, but I'm talking about something else: I hadn't listened to secular radio shows much and started to more tonight (mostly NPR stuff), and maybe the shows were a little boring, but I finally got frustrated because I have twenty, thirty some-odd Keith Moore messages to listen to what feed my spirit a lot more than speculation on how best to get through these "uncertain times" [and, by the way, don't buy into that; all times are uncertain] or more on the relations between the U.S. and, now, Iran and so on. Why should I listen to that, which is good for me and filling and so on, but that doesn't really stick when I can have the meat of the Word of God--something that really sticks, even if it's tough to chew sometimes. So I switched, and I'm glad of it. The reason this is special: it's usually the other way--I enjoy the spiritual stuff, but I also look forward to the NPR stuff. Today, I switched off the NPR stuff and played the spiritual.

I thank God for the meat of His Word.