coming home

So I came home tonight to a couple of cool things: 1) a check, not a bill but a check from one of my student loan companies, 2) a nice offer of some stuff from a friend for a good price and 3) notification of a package for me that I suspect is from Kenneth Copeland Ministries. Free. I'm getting enough stuff now that it might be wise to sow some more of it. I am not a hoarder but a distribution center guided by the Holy Spirit, thank God, and God blesses us so that we can bless others. Oh , and 4) a great day at work, favor there and a couple of extra hours, which means extra ch-ching.

I do also remember a day two ago as well when there was a bit too much change in the snack machine--I was tempted to take it but didn't (I can go into more detail if one gets hold of me, but not right here, right now). I halfway feel blessed that I didn't, but I also don't want to turn down a blessing God meant for me...

Perhaps the coolest part, though, is I'm this much closer to getting the computer I promised to a certain person into their hands. That's gonna be soooo cool!

What can I say but "God, you are good. Thank You. Praise You. :)". I also thank You, God, for the desire to bless others and the increasing ability to do so.

-Sean

why I'm here in this place

God shared something with me--clearly and perhaps out of frustration with me: because the jobs I have are the best I've had in my life outside of film, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. God said, "I've put you in those positions for a reason, and it's not to wait for the other shoe to drop." If God has put me somewhere, it matters not whether I deserve it; what matters is what I do with it.

Thank you, God. I accept that. :)

one more thing

One more thing: I am so grateful for a milestone God's brought me to: I am so much more excited to get the computer I'm sowing into this person's life than I am to get my new one, and I'm eager to get the new one! This is such a good place to be in. I thank God for it, too. :D

more stuff and insight

So some more good stuff happened today--the final charge for the computer may be even less than I thought, so I thank God for that.

More importantly, though, I was listening to the usual, and God showed me a couple more things, as He so often does: one is that God resources me--this means He uses me and that He provides for me. He also references me--that means again that He uses me in the sense that my life is a witness to others (which tells me that I really need to get better--to be a better person, as I am a representative of God, as are all Christians).

Also, God pointed out through Terri Savelle-Foy that Satan can only defeat me where he can deceive me. He's not going to bring something to me that's not a temptation but something that is--this is why self-knowledge through God is so important--to be able to see where God points out a weakness of mine so that God can help me strengthen that area so that Satan can't tempt me there, can't deceive me. Terri also pointed out what deception is--believing a lie without realising it. Well, two key things here: God doesn't lie, and we can usually hear Him in that still, small voice of the Holy Spirit. Satan does nothing but lie, and oftentimes he screams, pressures, etc. As Christians, we know, and need to know better, God's voice for guidance and so that we can differentiate that from Satan's, who will try to mimic God's voice, but through God we can tell when it's Satan and when it's God, when it's the Holy Spirit.

For myself, I am realising more how important it is to stay focused on God, to not "look to the left or the right"--when I do, I go off-course and crash. Better to stay focused and stay sharp.

Thanks, as ever, God, for more insight.

computer and favor

Well, I ordered up the new MacBook Pro today and am getting it for a little less, all told than I thought. I'm just so grateful to God to be able to do it the right way--debt free and still with enough to meet a couple of bills that are coming due. I'm also eager to get the computer I have into my niece's hands--it kinda doesn't even feel like it's as much mine anymore, and I'm anticipating giving it even more than receiving my new one. That's a good place to be, and I thank God for getting me into this place as well.

When I think of where I was when I started this blog, how God's kept me, how much favor He's shown and continues to show me and compare where I was with where I am, holistically-speaking, now (and where God's leading me)--it's almost night and day. He's shown me so much not just in grace and favor but in knowledge, little and great chunks of wisdom--and I can always use more--all I can do is thank Him again. I think I'll be doing this all my life, both here in this world and in Heaven. :)

another thing for which to be grateful

So today somebody gave me some great advice on my next computer--just get the 2.26GHz one and then get ram from a good third party for about 50.00. This means, if I do it, that I can get my new computer, with plenty of power, thank you very much, for a lot less and a lot sooner than I'd thought--basically, I can save about 350.00 or so and still do what I need to do. I thank God for that.

script

Well, thank God, and thanks to those who prayed; the person to who I want to send this script is too busy right now but wants me to check in in a month. This gives me time to polish the script up before sending it--if even then she's too busy or something, I still get a better script to send around.

Glory to God!

This result was originally an e-mail, but I thought I'd blog it as well to witness to anybody else who reads this blog but is not on my mailing list.

-Sean

live life loud

enough

As of this morning, at 5'7" tall, I now weigh 250 pounds. 250. Heaviest ever, I think. That's about enough of that. Next stop, 225.

This morning, I thank God for limits. I've little wish to see myself at 300 if it's not muscle. And at 250, it's certainly not all muscle.

God's favor vs. our supply

So I was on the phone getting prayer, and God gave me this image: the well that has all of what we can do to increase ourselves, our natural resources, in other words, is like a cup or a puddle or a spoonful compared to God's resources, which would be like an ocean. A spoon vs. an ocean. I'll draw from God's well, thank you very much. I thank God for the comparison. I also thank God for a potentially influential person getting back in touch with me after I had figured they'd excused themselves from my life. I'm also grateful for a potentially more active role in a movie I'm making with some friends--if it works out, it's more responsibility, but it's also a hand on the till, and I'm just honored they would think of me for such a position.

thanks for encouragement

I just got a word of encouragement from a dear friend of mine regarding the dream and L.A. It came at just the right time, and I thank God for it, for His timing, and for her, my friend.

choice and Word

So I have been listening to a couple of messages today, and God showed me a couple of things that are really cool:

1) The Bible is God speaking to me--this is why it's important to, in daily devotions, go where He sends me. This is not every day me saying, "God, where do I go today?" but I'll read a book or a section and then let God guide me where he wants. For example, for a long time I was reading Proverbs over and over, then the rest of the old testament, then the new testament, then Proverbs for awhile, then the entire old testament. What happens is that things I hear from the ministers to whom I listen seem to coincide pretty well with what I'm reading. I think of it as God coordinating my reading with what I'm listening to so that one enhances the other.

2) Killing, stealing, all this kind of thing are not what get us into Hell. What gets us sent to Hell is our refusal to accept Jesus' sacrifice for sin--to not accept the grace of God and the free gift of salvation. In case, and I've done this before, anybody wants to, you could pray (and mean it) this prayer out loud so you can hear it, and then tell somebody about it: "Dear God, I accept Jesus as the Lord of my life. In Jesus' name, amen."

If you prayed that prayer, I believe you're saved. Find a good church that teaches the Word of God and start getting into it (the Bible)--I'd suggest reading the New Testament first, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John--that'll introduce you to your Savior--and then the rest of the New Testament. Then maybe go on to Proverbs and Psalms--wherever God leads you. A good, free link is here.

finally

Well, I've finally got a weekend off. No working. Okay, I film on Saturday, but I don't consider that work--that's serious fun. I have time to see a movie or two. Or three. I get to go see my sister and have perhaps an "Entourage" marathon. I get to breathe.

Thanks, God, for the breather, and for the reminder that one needs to rest, not go at the redline all the time, to get one's senses about one. (contented sigh)

I've also settled on my new computer: 13" MacBook Pro 2.53GHz with 4GB of RAM. (another contented sigh)

unexpected blessing

So I had a good couple of days at work at Apple and am getting a higher paycheck than I thought I would, praise God.

More importantly, I'd recently made a decision not to fear, a decision which had been challeneged by a circumstance, but God reminded me not to fear. The circumstance turned out to be not much of anything, and I was glad I didn't wig out over it but had just turned the situation over to God, who handled it.

Then, while listening to Kenneth Copeland, Keith Moore, Perry Noble and my own pastor, they all were talking about fear and how important it is not to give in to it. What I think is neat is how God, as He does with increasing frequency lately, gave me a heads-up followed by an affirmation of that issue he gave a heads-up about later on...like later on that night. It's very interesting to be listening to one of these guys and be, like, 'Yeah, God was just talking to me about that'. Helps me feel very tuned-in.

The biggest thing that's coming out of this is the ability to just relax and turn things over to God. God's brought me to a new level of that ability just today, and I'm so glad of it. Things go so much better when you chill.

Thanks, God, for good antennae and for the ability to chill. :)

favor

I was shopping today, and I saw God's favor in this area: a good portion of what I wanted was on-sale. This happens a lot, actually, but more so today. It also happens when I go to the mall--there's often a good spot, one better than I thought I was going to get, certainly better than I expected to get, and He's shown me to not get upset if I have to park farther away than I thought. After all, a little walk never hurt me before. Why should it now?

God's shown me favor in so many ways--at work, which went especially well last time as far as my secondary job goes, in the marketplace, with my stocks and investments, in interpersonal relationships--grace and favor, grace and favor. I thank God for those today.

confirmation

I was on my way in to work today, and, at God's direction and when it was safe, pulled over to the side of the road and decided not to fear. This has been an issue in my life for various things, and I've made that decision before--perhaps this time it was just re-upping it or re-affirming it. I dunno. I'm glad I did it. It's already paying off.

Also, I was listening to Jerry Savelle, who hosts a program with his daughter, Terri. She mentioned that while God could, in response to our prayers, have people just drop off money, more often He presents us with opportunities--extra hours at work, other things to do, that get us more money than our regular paycheck would be. Well, God had told me the same thing very recently when I wondered how He's going to provide for me for L.A.--opportunities. That's why I've been able to work as much as I have, and I thank Him for it. It reminds me of the story of the person in a flood who prayed for God to rescue them as they sat on top of their house. A person in a canoe came by and offered to take them--they refused saying, "God's gonna rescue me". Later on, a person in a bigger boat came by and offered the same. Again, the one on the rooftop, though the waters were getting higher, said, "No, thanks. God's gonna save me." Finally, a helicopter came by, and the people in the helicopter offered to take this person. At this point, the house was almost completely covered in water, and still, the person said, "No, thanks, God's gonna rescue me." That person drowned. When they got to Heaven, they asked God, "What happened? I prayed and you said you'd rescue me." God said, "I tried. I send a canoe. I sent a boat. I sent a helicopter..." God doesn't always answer our prayers in the way we expect, but he does answer them (even if the answer's no, or perhaps even silence).

influence

What to say in this blog? Lately, I've been going through some things, but God's bringing me through. I was just watching Stargate SG-1, an episode where one of the main characters resisted some brainwashing. His commander asked how he'd done it. He said to resist the influence of others, knowledge of oneself is key. That resonated with me and can apply in so many situations like overcoming the temptation to not pursue your dreams, to give up and just follow the crowd, to give in to that addiction, to do what you know is wrong... God's helped me know myself so much better lately. I thank you, God, for knowing me, knowing what I need, knowing how to let me know what I need to know to be better, stronger, more determined, to do what it is You sent me here to do, which is to be Your ambassador, one of millions of Christians, here on Earth and for leading me through.

I know that sounds loopy to a lot of people, but I believe that we as Christians are the only face of God some people will ever see, the only Bible they will ever read. This life is wonderful, enjoyable, funny much of the time, and God wants us to enjoy our time here, but I believe He also wants to remind us that we are here for a reason, a purpose, that we have a mission, that we know what it is if we're honest with ourselves, and that this is not a game.

great day

Had a great day at work. Wanted to share and witness of it. Thank You, God.

learned something new, but not...

I learned, in listening to a message from Grace Church's Rick McFarland called "Where is my Mate?" something very important which I'd thought but which also confirmed something that's been in the back of my mind: if you cannot be trusted with a little, you cannot be trusted with a lot. We're always being tested, and when we prove ourselves trustworthy with what we have, we'll be given more. This applies in every area, from money to kids to intimacy to work... Just getting married won't solve an issue I have now. I don't think marriage is intended, actually to solve anything, really. It's an expression of love and commitment, not a way to keep yourself from going to the strip bar, for example. So, best to deal with whatever issue to the extent possible so that there's one less stressor to deal with in the marriage.

how to get a wife

That got your attention, huh? Anyway, I've been listening to a couple of messages, and God's shown me a couple of things, I think in answer to prayer: 1) to find what you're to do with your life, remember this: "delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"--which means He'll give you what you want that's in His will for you but also that He'll implant what He wants for you into you and you'll want that, and it'll be not a fleeting desire but one that doesn't go away. Usually, that'll be more than you'd ask for yourself. 2) if you want a spouse, be a person worth marrying (work on yourself to be a better person, more ready for when the spouse shows up--I wonder if this means to learn to put the toilet seat down...), and also pray for your spouse--not for your spouse's arrival but for their well-being. God will bring the spouse to their mate.

It's amazing how complicated we make things, and I thank God for reminding me how simple this stuff is.

one more thing...

One other thing: I just re-noticed that God's brought me to a place of having enough, and even more than enough. I just want to give God publick thanks for that and bear witness to that fact. Thanks, God, for enough.

Corolla part deux

So I got a couple of comments on the Corolla blog, and I thought about it and came up with this: there's nothing wrong with a Corolla. Just as there's nothing wrong with me. So I can enjoy the Corolla on the way to something even better, just as I can enjoy me, who I am, on the way to being somebody even better, a perhaps fuller expression of me that doesn't take away from the good part of me but shows more sides more fully...I am safe and reliable, but there's that rogue side, that more edgy side to me. It wants to play, too...heh-heh.

I thank God for a... multi-faceted personality. ;)

such a loving God

Leviticus 26 shows God's promise to the Israelites, to bless them if they follow His laws and decrees and the punishment they will get if they refuse to follow said laws and decrees. I was reading this yesterday, but I was very tired, and it took me a long time to get through it. I didn't really like it. I just read it again, though, a few moments ago, and I see this love God has toward the Israelites, and toward us, in that even in the section that details their punishment for disobedience, God doesn't just fly off the handle. He keeps giving chances--He'll punish them, and if they still are stubborn, He'll punish them more, if they still refuse, He'll punish them more, but the key is IF. It's like He doesn't just want to open a can of whoop*** on them and go nuts and destroy them. He keeps giving them a chance to repent.

Like he does me.

And if they don't, then there are consequences. He wants us to be obedient; He doesn't want to punish us, but He loves us enough to correct us so we get destroyed on His watch, but He will let us destroy ourselves if we insist on it--the key is that He will do everything in His power to see to it that we are blessed and not destroyed. I'd never quite seen that in Leviticus 26 before, but it's showing God's love to us on whole different level. He's letting us know the consequences of our behavior, and I could see somebody thinking God was very "take it or leave it" about it, but I think He's also very, "please take it--don't make me correct you. I take no pleasure in that, but I will do it if you force My hand. I love you enough to do it, but I REALLY don't want to." God is our Father, after all...

Thank you, God, for your persistent, Fatherly love.

I'm a Corolla...?

I just got back from coffee with my niece, Taylor. We talked about several things, but as we were standing outside the coffee shop, we started talking about cars, and I mentioned that what car you drive reflects who you are, but that that didn't really apply to me because what I drive is not what I would drive if I drove the car of my choice...then I realised that that's not true; nobody put a gun to my head and said, "Buy this Corolla or else". With what was available, I chose the Corolla. Safe, reliable, affordable. Not exciting, really, but dependable. And that reflects who I am: safe, reliable, dependable. That doesn't reflect, however, who I want to be. She mentioned "You chose safe and reliable. I went off-road," speaking of her truck. There's a lot to that, especially since ever since getting the Corolla, I've been pining for the car I really want: a Mercedes (preferably a CLK o.r so) or a Porsche Cayman (focus on the car, not so much the woman, though that woman looks very my type). Both rather expensive, a bit more exciting than the Corolla, both with a good deal of power, neither of them really shrinking violets, but still excellent, dependable cars you can live with, unlike my understanding of, say, a Ferrari, which demands too much maintenance for me, a Bugatti Veyron, which is my dream car but is too spendy, or a Koenigsegg, which is too unforgiving. All great cars for different people, but not so much for me. Maybe the Bugatti...

Anyway, I find this another watershed moment: right now, right here, I am a Corolla. That's good. It's just not all of me.

I thank God for the epiphany.

uniforms

I can think of one good thing about Hitler, or whoever designed that person's uniforms: the SS uniforms looked really sharp. Too bad the people in those uniforms did such mind-numbingly horrific things...things that have me wondering if they were possessed, some of them.

I was originally just going to say that, but I think God's telling me this: people can have as nice a uniform or outer skin as they want. It tells you nothing of their spirit. Sort of like how the biker, formerly such a dangerous-looking person, is likely the first person to stop and help you out if you're stuck by the side of the road. Or how the person in the $8000.00-dollar suit may want to do nothing than steal your money and stick a fork in your eye. The point? Maybe that old adage about not judging a book by its cover. Also, though, I feel like God reminded me that those Nazi uniforms were made to evoke fear. Sometimes, a person is what they look like. Sometimes, the outside does reflect the inside. How to tell? Be led. I thank God for His leading.

insight

I was listening to the Believer's Voice of Victory today, and God showed me a couple of great things:

1) Just because you fall doesn't mean you fail. Get up.
In my writing, I've long held to pushing my heroes or heroines down as far in the mud as I can get them, and then at the end tilting their head up just enough so they can see a pinprick of light, of hope. That makes, for me, a happy ending. An inexusable, and immature, ending is to not let them see that there is hope, that they can get up, that they will be okay, or at least better, even if they are not right now.
2) Gloria Copeland said, "If you can't watch the news and stay in faith, then don't watch the news." I've started to do this even with the NPR stuff to which I listen. If it's just going to bring me down, I don't need to hear it. The important stuff, and God showed me this long ago, I'll hear about anyway.

I've also got more peace about a big step I'm making--probably moving from when I was going to to a little later to get more resources to make it easier. I would have had plenty if I'd had fewer bills, not been as unwise with dough, but this is where I am now. Anyway, that's all up to God--I'll just keep doing what I think He's telling me.

savings vs. checking

Praise God, thanks to His advice through His Word and my pastor, my savings account has more in it than my checking account. :) This may not seem like a big thing, but it is to me. I've had a savings account for awhile but didn't have much to put into it. Now, thank God, I feel comfortable putting a certain percentage in and am getting more disciplined about it. In the past, I used to put money in, then get strapped and take it out, which can be disheartening. This time, it's staying in at least for awhile, and what comes out can get replaced without too terribly much fuss. If I'd known not having credit cards was this much fun, I'd've not gotten involved with them in the first place (to say nothing of how much hassle I would save by listening to God in the first place)...ah, when I think of how much ch-ching I could have saved...oh well, at least there's traction being gained now. :) Oh, and some stock I have is gaining, glory to God. Talk about good timing. :D There's not a ton of money there, but a little here, a little there and pretty soon little isn't so little anymore. Perhaps that's why God says not to despise the day of small beginnings.

I thank God for speaking through people, for His patience with me, for His advice and for increasing abundance of resources.

I love you, God. :)