acting

Had a pretty good role tonight--Jason Vorhees. Dinner theatre. Fun stuff. It kind of re-stoked the acting flame in me, or at least the live performance part of it. I thank God for that. Great being around other actors--people like me. I felt very at-home there, very in my element. Thanks again, Father, for the experience--learning lines, rehearsal, being backstage, the bit of camaraderie, the acceptance. :) I'm more certain than ever now: this is what I do.

blessings manifested

Okay, so first I get a higher-than-expected paycheck, then I get in a quandary over whether it's correct, then, later on, God shows me how it is correct, and in the meantime I get to spend time with one of my best buddies and now God blesses me through somebody else. I follow His direction, and things work out. Funny, huh. :) Anyway, almost all of what's happened today has been a manifestation of the blessing, which is working in me and on me now. Time for me to bless somebody else--partially through this blog, but I've got some giving to do--financially and socially.

Oh, and I got my first pair of jeans in about 3-4 years. For $37.00, and a name brand. Glory to God for that.

I thank You, Father, for such a day. Such a day...I feel so, sooo good, and yet very humbled. See, none of us, considering our sins, deserve much good to happen to us, but God, in His grace, sets "deserving" aside and blesses us anyway. We are His children, the, as the Bible says, "sheep of His pasture". He cares for us, for me and for you, so deeply we can't comprehend it. The God of the universe not only notices us; He sent his Son to die for us, then raised Him up and seated Jesus beside himself, a man in the godhead. That's a level of generosity I can't touch, I don't really understand, but through God's grace through faith, I accept. And that's all God asks. He knows there's a lot we don't understand, that we can't understand right now, but we can accept so much just on faith.

It's been said so often before, but Jesus died for you. He wants to give you the gift of salvation. All you need to do is be humble enough to receive it. Don't try to figure it out. Just receive it. If you want, pray this prayer out loud (things mean more when you actually say them): "Lord, take my life and do something with it." Now find a good church that preaches the Word of God--the Bible--and get in it. And welcome.

nice surprises

Well, this is unexpected. I thought my last check from Apple was going to be amount X. Not more than 2.5x that X. It is more. Glory to God. :) I want to see the pay stub and check things out, and I want to see how much my tithe should be, but I thank my Father for the unexpected money with which I can now pay an old debt. :) God provides.

Also, I got called to play a part in a dinner theatre presentation on Halloween night--and the cool thing is they usually get paid. Again, God provides.

Metallica

Just listening to and watching some videos from metontour.com, and I'm so grateful, again, for having seen these guys, Metallica, at the top of their form, at least since the 1980s. Still the best band on the planet as far as I'm concerned, noting that "best" is a relative term. I thank God for letting me go, the position I was in, the whole experience. Something I'll not soon forget. :)

I do need to be careful not to get too into Metallica again, but I believe it's okay to enjoy a healthy dose of them every once in a while--again, not because there's anything wrong with the band but with my not being willing to give up listening to them. Thankfully, though, I think I'm over that phase (from about 1992-2009).

protection

How often has God protected me on the road when I had no business driving because I was so tired? I don't know, but His hand is on me, His angels are around me like bouncers, and I am so grateful.

Thank You, Father, for Your protection.

I'm also grateful for good music. Listening to Dido's "No Angel" on a proper stereo. Great stuff. :)

this blog

Another thing I'm very grateful for: this blog and the impetus to write something other than what I did on this or that day. I've heard it's been an encouragement to one or two people, and it helps me, too. :) Thanks for that, too, Father.

By the way, the healing of the knee has almost completely manifested--even more than I thought a few hour ago. :) Glory to God! Thanks, Father!

strength

More than one person has wondered how I worked these two jobs I'd had over the past year, considering the hours and all (which were, to me, a lot at times but not, thanks to God, oppressive). One answer: God. He provided the strength to stay awake and alert even when I didn't get proper sleep and the grace to be in interesting jobs and to enjoy the second one most of the time. All thanks and praise to Him, just as I thank Him that I don't do that anymore but can just work overtime at the regular job if I like and still have time to film now, to go on auditions, to do what I'm here to do.

I thank God for that second job, for the whole experience and what I got out of it and the people I helped affect through it in one way or another. Others helped, but without God, none of this good stuff would have happened.

I'm reminded of a song lyric: "My hope is in You, Lord, My strength is in You, Lord, it's in You, it's in You..." It is. Thank You, Father.

walk

I was just watching "Munich" and noticing as Eric Bana was walking along in Paris, and it occurred to me what a great gift it is to walk--to have that ability. It's so convenient. You can go most anywhere on your feet. It's simple--just get up and move. After what happened to my knee awhile back, I had gotten concerned about my ability to walk properly, but that's taken care of now and the manifestation of the knee's full healing has nearly come.

Today I thank God for the ability to walk.

loyalty

I'm known for my loyalty. I am starting to question that now--loyalty can sometimes turn into tunnel vision. Partially out of loyalty to a company, I didn't seriously consider a product from another company--I had to push myself to get that other product, and turns out I like it better than the original thing I had thought of getting. The point is this: there's a difference between knowing what's best and blind loyalty.

Thank You, Father, for something to write about.

gallery

So I thought all the gallery stuff on a web page I use had been deleted. It hadn't. Glitch. Thanks, Father.

meeting

Another thing I'm grateful for: locations to shoot. Thanks for that, too, Father. :)

lesson

Lesson for today: keep your word. I had an object lesson in that--kinda not keeping my word on something and then having to fix things and help make everything right. Ugly situation for me. But I thank God for grace. :)

obedience

I wasn't going to write anything, as I didn't have a subject, but I felt like I should--on the way from the sofa to the computer table, God gave me a subject: obedience. If we obey Him in the small things, He can trust us with the big things. The better job. The spouse we've been praying for. The increased money. It's the little things, which are, truth to tell, not so little. A penny is little. A million pennies is $100,000.00.

Thank You, Father, for reminding me.

oops

Forgot another thing to thank and praise God for: 19 1/2" neck. Again, not important to others, but I always thought it's be cool, especially on a guy who's only my height. Now to lose the maxi-waist. :(

goals

I set a couple of goals around when I started bodybuilding (don't laugh--I tried to be serious about it for quite a while). One was to get a 300-lb bench press by the time I got out of high school. Nope. College. Nope. Graduate school. Yep. So thank God for that. I also wanted 20" arms. At that size, on my frame, that's an officially big arm. So I measured today. Right arm: 19 1/4". Left: 18 and change. The left has always lagged behind. I'm just surprised and grateful that it seems within reach, this 20" arms goal.

Is this curing cancer? No. Is it globally important? No. Will it change somebody's life? Probably not. But it would be nice. Not everybody gets arms to that size that are muscular. I'm not nearly as muscular as I'd like to be, but laying off the tin roof sundae might aid that. The point is, I want it, and I'm closer to it than I thought. In fact, I'm a little shocked. So, glory and thanks to God.

Thank you, Father. :)

Father, part II

So I just prayed to the Father for one of the first times, using "Father" instead of "God"--I noticed something very surprising: it really brought God closer to me, or I felt a lot closer, a lot more personal... "God" can seem far away, something with which I don't have physical experience, but I have physical experience with my father. I wonder if that's why Jesus wants us to pray to the Father, not to God (even though they are the same person--we're just addressing different...parts of Him).

Father

Interesting: It was just pointed out to me that we are not to pray to God but to the Father in Jesus' Name. So we can say, "Father" but not "God"--this is what Jesus said (John 14:16). It seems legalistic, but in order to get the best answers, we have to pray according to the instructions given. Thanks for letting me know, Father. :)

I was thinking...

So I was thinking of a new car. Nice. Shiny. More exciting than my old one. About to consider pulling the trigger and trading in my old one. Then I Googled something about "when to buy a new car" and got this site. Free, concise, no b.s. car-buying advice. Things like, for first-time buyers, if you can't pay is off in 48 months, don't buy that car. Get something cheaper. Same if you can't put down 20%. Don't trade in a car you're upside down on. I think the site even says not to trade in a car on which you owe money because the dealer might be lagging in paying off the remainder of what you owed to the bank on the trade-in, meaning you're still responsible. At least get it in writing that they'll pay off that note w/in 10 days.

I like this site. No real frills, seems unbiased. Good stuff. I thank God for showing it to me. :)

another thing

Another thing I just found out about: some stock I have just went up today. A lot. Glory to God for that! :) What's really neat about it is it turns out I have a brokerage account, which I've been wanting for a long time but never had the grubstake to get into. Turns out I've had this for some time, and now that I know about it, I can add stuff to it. This is big to me because I've been wanting to get into the stock market for some time and saw this downturn last year as a huge buying opportunity. Turns out I've been buying in it without necessarily knowing it, so I didn't muck around with it. It's come out well. So I say just keep on keeping on with it. Thanks and glory to God!

good stuff

God's been blessing me a lot lately. I mean, He's always blessing me, but He's continuing to give me further insight into what things I didn't understand actually mean. For example, now that God's reminded me of what He wanted me to blog about, I'd been stuck on Jesus being a "high priest after the order of Melchizedek". After the order of? Who uses that? What does that mean? Simply, as God tried to show me from the start, with the same marching orders as... Melchizedek received Abraham's tithe and blessed him. Jesus receives our tithe and blesses us. That's not all Jesus does, of course, but in this context, that's his role: receive our tithe and bless us. Not that hard to understand, really.

This reminds me of another bit of "Christianese" that I had gotten stuck on: the word "walk" in the Biblical sense. Simply put, to walk after means to follow after. Our walk is our trip through life--how we live it--decisions we make, things we learn, ways (philosophies, beliefs, convictions) we follow. Our love walk is how we show love and grow in our understanding of it. Same for our "faith walk" and so on. It's just our trip, our journey, our way through this life's road or path.

I'm also reminded of this: "The Bible's so simple we have to have help to misunderstand it," said Kenneth Copeland. I think he's right.

Thanks, God, for further, deeper understanding. :)

resolution

So I had a situation at work that I had gotten concerned over, but I just heard recently from my boss that it's not an issue and not to worry. I feel so much better now, and a little clearer as well as I recognise more how Satan tried to make me anxious--how he tried to use the situation to bring about all kinds of thoughts of doom and gloom (cliche, I know...) over virtually nothing. I also feel justified in bringing the supposed issue where it needed to go rather than...not. I feel like I've covered my butt (no, nothing anybody else did is involved--only me) and made sure all i's are dotted and t's crossed.

Sometimes it is difficult to do that as we think of potential ramifications, but the right thing must be done and turned over to God. At that point, God can take, as Eastman Curtis says, a situation that the devil meant for bad and turn it around for good. Glory to God! :)

uppage

So I signed into my stock and 401k plans today. They've certainly gone up, and I have more there than I expected. So glory to God for that! And it's easy to monitor them--I'd though about cashing out, but I think I'll stay in for the time being and see where it goes. :)

change

Something's changed in me. Maybe it was the rededication prayer I prayed today. Maybe it was stuff leading up to that that led me to that rededication. Maybe it was quitting Apple and having this free time and trusting God for the continued employment at my other job and for more overtime there. Maybe it's the gorgeous fall weather, but something's changed in me. I'm closer to God and bolder about standing up for Him. He is, after all, my Father. Why wouldn't I stand up for Him?

Something's changing, and I'm usually resistant to change. This time, I say let it be.

Thank You, God, for change.

Addendum: even Christian music sounds better to me. That's saying something. ;)

new direction?

So I was just listening to this video, and after writing that last blog, I'm prepared to take a much stronger stand for Jesus in my films. I'd avoided it up to now, and I still won't bludgeon people with the message, but I don't want to shy away from it anymore. I still aim to, of course, be in and make mainstream films, but I'm more willing to do "Christian" films as well. They've just got to be good. I'm glad to be in this position of being willing to be more bold for God, and it doesn't mean being a nutjob or a weirdo; it's just following the instructions we've been, I've been, given: don't hide God's message of love. Share it. That's what the megaphone of film is for. Thanks, God.

"...by our love"

There's an old Christian song, "We are one in the Spirit", that has the lyrics, "...and they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love, yes, they'll know we are Christians by our love." That came to my remembrance as I was cleaning the kitchen just now, and, no, the two are not related, but it got me thinking, that's a good thing to bear in mind as I go about my day. What kind of love am I showing? Am I representing Jesus Christ well--in my personal life, in my public life? How will somebody know I'm a Christian, and how will they react to that knowledge? Will they say, "Well, if that's a Christian, I'll have none of it, thank you", or will they say, "So that's a Christian? Hmmm...count me in."

Thanks for the reminder, God. I love You.

no need

So I was going to go ahead and spend about $100.00 for a nice KitchenAid coffee maker because I wanted something with an auto off feature. Turns out one of the coffee makers my sister gave me might already have that--which saves me about $100.00. I still need to make sure, but if this is so, thanks, God! :)

Just checked--it has a programmable auto shut-off feature. Thanks, God! Maybe I'll get a blender instead--or, *gasp* save or sow the money!

I'm also grateful for the confluence of a couple of healthy paychecks, which make having a brake job done and a car payment due a little less onerous, so thank You, Lord God, for that, too.

One other thing: there was a woman at the gym whom I was interested in dating yet never asked. Now she's moving. I'm glad I got to be acquainted just a little with her, but I'm also sort of glad I never asked, if she wasn't going to be around. One of the ways in which God protects me--not following up on, or not even having, certain impulses. :)

-Sean

margin

I'm sick of margin. Of not doing things 100%. Of always holding something back. Of seeing how far I can get with minimal effort. Not very. What God's telling me is that when I hold back, I am holding myself back. Sure, there are things on which to be conservative, but this does not apply to effort, to investment in relationships, to the important stuff. So, from now on, these engines are running at 100%. Thanks for the reminder, God.

happy "accidents"

Happy accidents

So I finally sat down and read some more of Harold Guskin’s book, “How to stop acting”, only I started it on the wrong page--I thought I’d used a church bulletin as a bookmark when I’d actually used one of my Apple business cards--it was inserted about ten pages after the bulletin. Thing is, the bulleting was right about where I had started to get confused, so it was good because I reread the section I’d not understood and now understand it much better. So, thank You, God, for this “accident”, for lack of a better term.

Oh, and I even feel like God helped in the writing of this blog entry--I’m in a bookstore and thought I was unable to connect to the net though they have wi-fi. So I wrote this in Pages. Cool. Now I can connect, and all I have to do is select, copy and paste. Pretty cool stuff. Thanks again, God. :) Remember, God is God of the “small” as well as the “big”. ;)

healing

So last week I was getting ready to leave from work, picked up my satchel and felt this stinging pain in my wrist. Prayed over it. Now it hasn't bothered me in days. It's healed. Thank You, God for that.

As to that knee of mine that had been bothering me, it's getting much better. So's the back. And I'm back in the gym. Thank You, God, for that, too.

As far as other stuff's concerned, I'm probably doing the most valuable thing I can right now, which is to spend just 5 minutes or so a day just listening to the Lord. This thought will come, that thought, but that few minutes is growing to be precious to me, and a great investment of time. Also, I've made some progress on the script for the latest film--I've got it outlined; I just need to write the rest of it. Looks like it'll be about 20-30 minutes long.

Here's a request for joining in agreement with me in prayer: I have an idea of how much I'll need to get a good start in L.A., but the expenses here and now--car maintenance and so on, could have a tendency to have me think, "How am I going to save that much money by X date, especially if I'm quitting Apple?" Well, first of all, mine is to turn this kind of thing over to God and believe and obey, not to figure out how. Secondly, I was taking a bit of a pay cut when I took on the Apple thing because I wasn't able to cover for other people on the main job as much, so, a word to the wise. So here's the request: that I be receptive and obedient to whatever God tells me to do. I can ask God for as much as I want, but if I'm not willing to listen and be obedient, how's He going to get XYZ in to my hands?

Thank You, Lord, for Your insight and instruction and my hearing and obeying of it.

what I'm responsible for

Listening to a message Keith Moore delivered this week, I've been shown from God several key things:

1) A need is not a leading. Just because a team of bank robbers needs a lookout doesn't mean I'm called to be their lookout.

2) An opportunity is not a leading. Just because I have an opportunity to get offended doesn't mean I'm supposed to take it.

3) I am responsible to do what God told me to do. He never told me to save people but to lead them to Him through my verbal and life witness. If I have taken on too much, thinking I'm the key to somebody's salvation, which is prideful (and fear even comes into it when you think you're going to go to hell because you didn't get somebody saved--this fearful self-protection disguised as caring and is really just butt-covering, has been a big thing for me, which, thank God, I see and am free of as of now), I'm a poor witness because I'm not enjoying my salvation. Who would want in on something that people don't look like they're enjoying?

This is from a podcast from Moore Life Ministries from 10/05/2009. Check it out here.

Thank you, God, for the Word.

today

Today, God said to me, "You fall. A lot. But you get back up and run to Me. At least you've got that down. Don't give up. I will not give up on you, but you MUST obey me."

Thanks for that, God.

almost

Well, I almost made a mistake: almost traded in my MyTouch 3g for an iPhone. Then, following the Holy Spirit's still small voice, I did the numbers. To get a plan where I have almost as many anytime minutes as I do now would be about $109.00/month plus messages about $5.00/month. Over 2 years, that's about $900 I wouldn't have had to pay. $500 or $400 after one takes out what one got back with the return of the MyTouch and the not having to pay to get out of my contract. I can use that money. So can God.

Thanks for the heads-up, God.

boys against girls

I'm writing this screenplay, or have been, and finally got to the poit where i was goint to start writing on it again. Couldn't find it on my online storage, on the computer or on the flash drive. Thank God it was on the external hard drive. Always back up the important stuff to an external hard drive--I suggest doing that in three places in addition to the regular hard drive: 1) online, 2) an external hard drive and 3) a flash drive (geek stick--looks like a key fob). Thanks, God, for backups.

One more thing

Just reflecting a bit here: God's given me so much, and I know He wants to give me so much more. Thanks, God, for the gifts, and thanks more for giving me the heart to give.
I love You, Lord.

dig

Really starting to dig this new phone. Thanks for it, God, and the price for it.

grace

One of the biggest ways God shows me His grace is protection, even from stupid stuff, stuff I regret doing even years later, but that remembering the grace God showed in that situation makes me even more thankful for that grace.

Good stuff to remember--not stupid stuff but the grace, sometimes manifested as protection, that sees me through.

Thank you, God. Again. ;)

proof

God gives us instructions on things to do. Sometimes wel follow them, sometimes not. Tonight I did. They worked. Glory to God.

a word from God

So I got this from God today and thought I'd share--it's not just applicable to me (fill in your name where necessary), though I edited it in consideration of it not just being men which read this:


Go, drink life to the lees today. You are mine, Sean, a child of the Most High God and a brother of your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Remember that always. That should give you all the confidence you will ever need.

No need to bow down or kow tow to anybody on earth. You are My child. You are royalty. You are a king. You are a queen. You are mine. I take care of that which is mine.

I love you.

--love, your Father

Joe McGee

I was just listening to a message from Joe McGee that really blessed me: he said, basically, if you're not believing God for yourself, you're not going to believe God for others. So thank God for what He's done for you, what He is for and to you, get your list out and make your request, then believe for it, all based on and in scripture. The reason for this is simple: as God answers your prayer for yourself, your faith grows and you can believe for others. So God gets to bless you and you get to bless others by believing for them and God blesses them too.

On the surface, this seems selfish, but it's not: you have to have faith that God will do what He says He'll do--so give Him a chance and let Him show Himself true to His Word.

I thank God for that message.

new phone

I got the new phone today, and it's been okay--something of a disappointment, but that's only because of it being a different way of doing things than I'm used to. I'm getting more impressed the more I fiddle with it. It does have better call quality than the last phone I was using, which is important. I am wondering whether I should have opted for a manual keyboard phone, like a Blackberry Bold, but I think those are pretty expensive...

Anyway, not only did I get the phone for 50.00 less than I thought I would have to pay, but my plan, because some aspects of it were made redundant through the data plan for which I signed up, has only gotten about one dollar more expensive. I'm very happy about that--to have so much more functionality for only a dollar more per month. Um, yeah, I'll take that. Had I gone the iPhone route, I would certainly be paying at least fifty dollars more per month to get comparable minutes. So I thank God for the money saved and for a good phone.

I also thank Him for the response of some friends to whom I asked an enunciation question. Good stuff, you-know-who-you-are.

all good things...

Well, I'm submitting my resignation to Apple today. They need people who are more hard-charging, more appropriately assertive and who have time to get where Apple needs and deserves for them to be. I went back and forth about it, but I've been thinking about it and am pulling the trigger. My last day will be Oct. 18th.

It's been a good run. Got a great new computer. Lasted over a year in the world's finest retail environment--a year with the best in the business (though I had lots of help--then again, so do most people--that's why they call it a team). I feel pretty good about it and very at peace. That's the way things usually go for me: I needed to make a decision, so I did. I don't think I prayed about it, which maybe I should have, but I think I wound up going the way I was headed anyway. Now that I think about it, though, why didn't I pray? Well, the decision's made, and I feel good about it, again, and there we are.

Maybe now I won't be so exhausted--I'll be able to volunteer in choir, perhaps; get more filming done, still save money and get out of here in God's time.

Thanks, God, for the experience.