underestimation

I was just listening to an interview with Robert Trujillo, bassist from Metallica. He was asked how it feels when somebody says he's their inspiration, how he inspired them, and he mentioned how much he appreciated it. I got thinking, "You know, maybe I don't need to take this movie thing so lightly. Maybe I'm underestimating the effect I can have on somebody just by being in a movie." It feels weird that there's a possibility that I could inspire somebody, and I'm reminded how it's all the more important then, if you have an influence on a person, an effect, that it be a positive one, that they find out that that Sean guy who was in that movie is the one they met at the coffee shop, oh and by the way, he's a Christian.

Anyway, the point is, I think I had started to underestimate the preciousness of the assignment, the work, that God's given me. No more of that.

Thanks for the reminder, Father.

my own effort

So ever since last year, I've had this voice in the back of my head suggesting that I was doing the wrong thing by getting a second job and trying to fund my move to L.A. by myself _instead of_ trusting God for the resources to do it. I just listened to a message from Kenneth Copeland Ministries where a guy was to go on a missions trip and things didn't work out in the natural, by his own efforts but where God provided it supernaturally--the guy just kept in faith, didn't let go of that promise and on the last day, when they organisation really needed the money or I guess he wouldn't be able to go, somebody paid for him.

Like Gloria Copeland was saying, sometimes our blessings don't come instantly--this is because God works through people, and we just need to be patient. Know that whatever we're claiming or believing for has scripture behind it, pray about it and seek God's direction, and then make the request and hold fast to that that request will manifest (appear, come true, come about). We need to be in this for the long haul in order to receive God's best--just not let go after whatever we were hoping for doesn't happen in a short time.

The point for now is that I need to be responsible with the resources God's given me, but I also need to stop trying to provide these resources for myself--it's like saying, "I need this car built" and then pushing aside the experts who would build it and insist on trying to get it from scratch myself with no knowledge of how to do it.

Thanks, Father, for reminding me that I am not my source; You are. And for reminding me just now that I need to be more responsible with the resources You give me instead of just using the resources to pay for trinkets when they should go toward a much higher, more important, thing: the move to L.A.

supplemental

Just found out we might be getting paid more at work. Glory to God! :) Thanks, Father!

just stuff

Here are a few things that I've had it on my heart to witness about, which partially means to share here: when I get hurt and pray over it, God heals it quickly. When there's something wrong with my body and I pray about it, God heals it quickly. I haven't been sick in years because I recognise the symptoms coming on and pray for the healing and God takes care of it, partially by reminding me to take in more Vitamin C or, perhaps, get more rest--God seems to be big into preventative medicine. Just in the day-to-day maintenance of this body of mine, God helps out so much. I'll slip a bit and raraly fall. If I fall, I hadly ever get hurt. Usually, my reflexes, which God designed, anre fast enough to either prevent the fall or lessen any damage from it (though I'm not ruling out any angelic help; see here.). My Father takes such good care of me and my health, and I just want to give Him glory and public thanks for that. Thank You, Father, for taking care of me physically.

grateful for what I have

During this past snowstorm, my Toyota Corolla has proven itself once again: while it's not the most exciting of cars, it gets me where I'm going with little, if any fuss. I thank God for that.

I also thank God, again, for getting me the best stuff for the money--from good brands for not that much dough, if any. It may take awhile, but God, when I let Him, provides the best.

Thank You, Father, for the best.

Christianese

So I sometimes get caught up in what I call Christianese, which is terms that Christians use that are a bit obscure but that are used so often that people don't tend to define them for those who aren't familiar with them (the terms). One of these is from Philippians 4:18-20, where it says "my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus..." Sounds pretty cool, and it's a part that we really need to take in and live by and trust in, but it's hard to do that if we don't understand what's being said. How can we believe in a word when we don't understand that word? Well, I'd been getting a bit frustrated at that, because I certainly want those riches; God showed me as I was looking on Biblegateway.com--the Contemporary English Version of that scripture, to me. Now I understand and can believe that. It was one of those moments where I was, like, 'Oh, yeah. That. Sure, I can believe that."

Here's another one God just showed me: in Matthew 6:32-34 it says "...seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness..." What's the Kingdom of God? In the Contemporary English Version, it says this. It's simply God's work. His righteousness is what He wants. It's putting that as your number one priority. Okay. I get that.

Thanks for the clarity, Father.

obedience

I obeyed God today in a way I don't know if I have--I did something I'd been putting off for a long time (no, no skullduggery, of course)--which involved service, which is something toward which I think I am not naturally inclined--and I'm grateful for having done it. Thank You, Father, for keeping after me until I trusted you and obeyed. :D

good day

Had a good day today--got some stuff, got my Bible read, watched a lot of Netflix and the snow is melting during the day. Glory to God.

Thank You, Father, for a good day.

Happy birthday, Jesus

Happy birthday, Jesus. And happy Christmas, one and all.

Thank You, Father, for sending Your Son for me.

sharing

Just got word of a situation involving a co-worker last night: in a blizzard, the car he was in went off the road. My co-worker prayed a prayer and soon a guy in a white truck came out of nowhere and helped them out and they never saw him again. Glory to God! Thank You, Father, for the good care You take of Your children. :D

I'm also grateful for the night I spent last night: I'd thought to just stay in despite plans to go to my sister's for Christmas Eve. Well, this blizzard was coming in and she suggested, as I live in a valley, I might not be able to get out to go to work today. So I went and spent a great night with them and watched movies, got some sleep, enjoyed breakfast with them, got some more sleep and came to work on passable (thank God) roads. And now here I am, on Christmas, getting time-and-a-half. Not bad. :D

Thank You, Father, for the good care You take of me. --love, Sean

being single blows

Maybe it's just the magnifiedness of the holiday season, but I sit in a coffee shop and see couples, and I think, "Being single blows." I know God has somebody for me, though, and that I just have to trust Him.

Father, thank You for being there for this as well.

another blessing

I gave something to one of my youngest nieces. Turns out she likes it. That's a blessing. :D I'm sitting here beaming.

Thanks, Father, for getting that thing to me to give to her and for my finding out that she digs it.

blessing at work

A guy at work left me a 25.00 gift card that'll work at Sam's Club. Glory to God for that. God's timing is always so perfect, as I can use that money for a tank of gas. :) Very cool.

Thank You, Father, for this person's thoughtfulness--and for a goal to which I can aspire.

makes no difference

Finishing up watching "Waiting to Exhale"--there's a church scene that shows Jesus as an African man. I used to get a little offended at that, knowing that He didn't look like that. Well, He didn't as a man. And He doesn't now. But He also doesn't look like a Caucasian, Asian, Latino or anything else. Like I referred to before, in Heaven, there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, bond nor free. How He's portrayed physically in pictures now may make no difference. It's who He is, not what He looks like, that makes a difference in the grander scheme of things. So while the portrayal of Jesus as African is historically inaccurate to the best of my knowledge, I've just now stopped taking such exception to that. And I shudder to think why I ever did...

Thank You, Father, for clearing that up.

beautiful--invisible

Watching "Waiting to Exhale" and recalling a conversation with my sister-in-law: I think there's some progress that's been made racially. I see more interracial couples. I see more people of color on TV and in movies. I think, and here's one of the most important points, beautiful African-American women are seen more as beautiful women. Angela Bassett is a beautiful woman, African-American or not. I remember old school people would have said, "She's a beautiful Black woman" in the sense of being beautiful...for a Black woman. Lucy Liu is a beautiful woman, not beautiful _for_ an Asian woman. Selma Hayek is a beautiful woman, not beautiful _for_ a Latina woman. In fact, the term may have been reclaimed--Angela Bassett is a beautiful, African-American woman. These are attributes--beautiful, African-American, woman. Get it?

We're not there yet. Not even close. But we're closER.

Thank You, Father, for helping us see Your beautiful children in all their multi-hued glory.

Where I would like us to get, and where I think some people are, is like my niece and nephew--they are Caucasian. I am mixed. They don't see me as their African-American or mixed-race Uncle Sean. They see me as Uncle Sean. That's the way it should be. In my opinion, humans only naturally come in one race: human. Lots of ethnicities, but only one race. And the most important division is not whether you are Arab, Asian, African-American, whatever--the most important one is whether you're saved or not. While one's ethnicity and culture are beautiful and important things, and God made you and I this way for a reason and we need to embrace them, I think we need to keep them in perspective and remember that this is the only difference that really means something eternally-speaking. There will be no African-Americans or Asians or Irish people or whatever in Heaven, after all. Something to think about. If you're so inclined, visit this post and think about which group you'd like to be in. :)

again

Had a great night tonight--really a great day preceding it, but now it's capped off by some nice video watching and seeing God move yet again--I asked Him to help me find something, He let me know almost as soon as I asked, maybe even before, and when I finally found it, I realised He'd told me where it was in that still, small voice of His. He does that a lot--helps me find stuff. Once again, God of the small as well as the big. I was looking for a particular pen I have to do a particular drawing--a rendering of a symbol He showed me long ago, sort of my personal sign for God--a cross and a heart enmeshed (God is love)--this is where He suggested I use this pen, as it has a particular kind of tip that would give me the result I wanted. Thanks, Father, for Your suggestions.

more thanks

It seems to the natural mind that it is a waste of resources to ask God to help you find your keys or your lip gloss or your whatever. And yet, God is the god of the small as well as the big. He's not just there to get you through a divorce or a disaster, the death of a loved one, a bankruptcy but to help you with the small stuff as well. He just did with me when I was looking for my Burt's Beeswas lip stuff and suggested I look in the suit jacket I'd worn on a recent set. I think He even suggested looking in the side pocket. When I did, there it was. Glory to God.

I think it's these little things at least as much as the big things that reaffirm my faith in God on a daily basis. If I'm paying attention, there's always something--even if it's nothing more than the fact that I'm breathing. That's enough. Indeed, that's plenty.

Thank You, Father, for helping me find my Burt's Bees...and for my every breath. (And for the discount on my sending a great present to a great niece. :) )

glory to God on a different subject

I just want to give glory to God here for bringing me through a bunch of stuff over the last ten, twenty years, particularly the last ten. I made a lot of mistakes, then cried out to God and He brought me through. Still does. I encourage those who are of a mind to to read the previous blog entry.

Thank You, Father, for bringing me through.

salvation prayer

I thought I'd put this up yet again, but more simply this time:

If you're not saved and would like to be, just pray this prayer out loud and mean it:

"Dear God, take my life and do something with it."

If you've said that and you mean it, welcome. You're saved. Now begins a new life for you. Tell somebody about it. Get into a good, Bible-believing church and let God take you by the hand and show you around.

more glory and thanksgiving

I'm just giving more glory to God for the way He arranges things. His timing if perfect. I've wanted a proper, finished guitar for so long, and He's provided one. I'm so happy with it, and I haven't even plugged it in yet. I'm just so thankful. Thank You, Lord. Thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You. :D

Turns out I even have two straps, one for the bass and one for the guitar, as well as two cords, one of which God just reminded me of. More money saved. :D Glory to God for that.

One might think I'm being a bit effusive, but really I'm not. God is in control of my life, and when I act like it, He guides me so wonderfully. I cannot, literally cannot, thank HIm enough. I have a long way to go to be matured, but God is so graceful, so gentle, so kind and loving and strong... He takes care of me. Without Him, I am nothing, I have nothing, no hope, no good future, nothing at all that's good. Thank You again, Lord. Thank You so much.

guitar

Glory to God! I've been looking for an electric guitar, and I went to Guitar Center and saw a used Bullet Strat, by Squier, which is owned by Fender and is supposed to be easier to learn on because of the way its frets are and so on, for 59.00 (it's the el-cheapo one, but still a good guitar). Perfect cream color, they put a string on to replace the missing one--really a good deal, even though they say it will go out of tune rather easily (although the manager said he tends to play the guitar pretty hard, so this might be mitigated because of that). Bottom line is, it's a good guitar to learn on, which I've felt like I wanted to do. Thanks, Father, for that and the resources to get it. :)

saved money

I was thinking I might need to get another iPod because the music player on my phone is too quiet. But I also felt like God was reminding me it might be the headphones. So I got some much better headphones. Problem solved for $79.00 as opposed to about 140-170.00 for a new iPod Nano. Glory to God! And these 'phones, the Klipsch Image S4, are excellent. Actually, I'd thought to give them away, as I tend to think with most nice things I get. It's about being willing to give freely, out of love, anything I'm directed to. God's been dealing with me about that, and I think His word on these it to enjoy them until I'm directed to sow them. Then do so without question, in love, and without regret.

One of the problems, somebody pointed out, with holding onto stuff is the reason we do so: we're afraid God won't be able to replace what we gave. I went through that with my stereo, which I still am not willing to give up but will if directed by God. Clearly, I still have a ways to go--anybody who prays, please agree with me in prayer to give whatever God wants me to give as freely and in love as He wants me to give it.

cool

Another cool thing: a co-worker, in repayment for my giving him some of my food, has made something for me--I dunno if it's gonna be good, but we'll see. Anyway, it's a very cool gesture. :)

each drop counts

I like what Anthony Edwards was saying in a Direct Relief.org commercial: you may think what you can do is only a drop in the ocean. But each drop counts.

When it comes to being environmentally responsible or, on a larger scale, trying to make this planet a better place to live, just because I can't make much of a difference in some things doesn't mean I can't make a difference at all. I can't reverse the extinction of a species once it's gone, but I can turn off a light. I can't give salvation (God does that) but I can give a smile.

I have to do what I can.

tonight's shoot

Had a great night of shooting, and I'm impressed by the lighting of the shopping center where we were. Also made a couple of contacts--always good to have. Turned out well.

Feels like I'm forgetting something... I'm thankful for a much easier-than-expected day at work.

Also got some great advice and even was able to buy the food I wanted for tonight for less money than I thought it would be. That's big to me because I'm verrry hungry right now. :)

Thanks for today, Father, always.

well, well, well

I'd asked to be brought to the place where I want to serve the Lord, a movement from serving out of obligation. I wanted to want to serve the Lord. As I'm listening to a message delivered by Dave Vaughan of Faith Life Church, the Lord just brought me ot that point. Glory to God!

:)

good weekend

God is God of the big as well as the small: case in point: He helped me find the adapter from my phone to my headphones--the Holy Spirit, that still, small voice inside me, suggested calling Starbuck's to see if they had it. They did. About 20-30 dollars saved. :) Thank You, Father. I also got some good advice from a guitar expert who was not trying to sell me a guitar on what to get as a beginner. He said just get one of those packs with the guitar and speaker--a Les Paul pack or a Strat pack--they sell things like this for about $200--you get a good starter guitar without spending too much in case you don't like it. Thank You for that, too, Father, for so much else, and for the extra hours today--that will give me 48 extra hours since last Monday, 36 of which are overtime, AND for the extra dough that'll be coming on this next check exclusive of that which is for the hours I just worked. Glory to God! :D

Finally, got some rehearsing done on a scene with my friend Jami and got cast in an on-camera role this Sunday night. THANK YOU, FATHER!

good stuff

Several pretty cool things over the past few days: lots of time to rest--whether I took advantage of it or not. Got to go see a show with my friends Ryan and Rob in it. Got a basic laser printer for a good discount--this is something I've wanted for quite some time. Got to hang out with some friends after the play. Got access to some money I didn't know I would have as unfettered access to (relax--nothing illegal). And I'm getting finished just now doing some editing on the movie we're doing, and the scene is not as seamless as I would like, but it's about the best I can do without getting into wayyy heavy and complicated editing that'll just have me going, "When is this gonna end?!!" Finally, God suggested I give a thing to some folks, and it looks like it's not just good timing but God timing.

Nice couple of days. :) Thank You, Father.

further instruction

Listening to Dave Vaughan, from Faith Life Church, on serving God, and he further clarified something key: if you're serving God out of fear, it's because you don't trust Him. You're serving Him for the wrong reason. I need to serve Him because I love Him and for no other reason.

I make the further decision today to serve God not out of fear but out of love. Period.

Thank You, Father, for clarification. You're giving me a lot of that lately. :)

parable of the talents

I'd always had trouble with the parable of the talents, but I was listening to a Keith Moore message, and God showed me a different way of seeing it: why would God give you more of X when you're not using, or not properly using, what He's already given you? When you need more, when you're a good steward of what you have, He'll give you more. Only makes sense--it's hard to fund a billion-dollar corporation on a few bucks, but if you're not trustworthy with those few bucks, why should He trust you with billions?

I think this also applies to our witness--we're not to hide that we're Christians but to live our lives as witnesses and share it when we're led to; God will provide the opportunity and we take that opportunity.

All of this means we really have to listen to God, hear what He's saying (refer to previous post regarding this)--then we'll have proper instruction to do what He says to do, when, where and why (maybe) He says to do it. It's the best use of the resources we have and the best way to increase those resources. Sort of like a trainer, really, who is an absolute expert on getting your body to the goal you've set for it. If his knowledge is there and we hear him and don't do what he says, it's not his fault that we're still not in the shape we want to be in.

Thank You, Father, for Your continued insight and grace. :D
Thanks also for assuring me that I have been using my talents. :D

giving thanks--hearing from God

Listenig to a message on The Believer's Voice of Victory delivered by Keith Moore talking about hearing from God and how to do it: be thankful. Quit saying I can't hear from God, I don't know what He's saying, blah, blah, blah. Instead, be thankful and say, "I hear from God. I thank Him. Thank You, God. I will be in the right place, at the right time..." and so on. He (Keith) said if you pray that and mean it, you feel heaviness lifting. It's working. He's right. So simple, as he said. That's a load off. :D

Thank You, Father.

love vs. fear

I was listening to a message, "Called Out, Part 4" by Kenny Luck of Saddleback Church. Toward the end of it, he asked "What motivates your obedience to God?" I had to admit that the first thing that came to mind was fear--fear of consequences, hell, damnation, that sort of thing. That's understandable, and it's less so than it used to be, but I want to get to the point where the first thing that comes to mind in response to that question is love. Yes, I love God. Yes, I'm going to Heaven. But I had had my life so ruled by fear for so long--not that it's out, it's something I have to be vigilant about not letting it back in--God just reminded me to rely on Him and He'll remind me to keep the door shut when it fear comes calling. Sort of like not letting a skanky, toxic, diseased, Satan's minion of a boyfriend or girlfriend back into your heart.

Maybe it comes down, like so many things, to a simple decision not to let fear in, to obey God and fear not. If so, I make that decision now.

Thank You, Father, for the reminder and the clarity.

inspiration

Maybe I'm just in that mode, but I see this as a great metaphor for how to handle Satan when he attacks.

climate

I feel like God's shown me something very simple about the climate: I'm not going to save the earth. God will handle that situation (I take comfort in this), particularly verses 1-4. But that doesn't mean I have the right to trash it while I'm here. I believe in taking care of the resources God's put into my hands, but the earth is not my God.

Thank You, Father, for that insight.

without God

I'm thinking of what/who/how/where I'd be without God. It's not a pleasant thought. If God didn't exist, then neither would I. If I were to turn away from God, it's hard to even imagine, but the bottom line is I'd be damned: I might have financial success, friends, everything the world can offer and enjoy myself on certain levels, but in the end, I would have slid down the slope straight into the gates of Hell. Once there, there is no escape. Nothing is worth that. Thank You, Father, for my being Yours.

Slightly different subject: Keith Moore has been guest teaching on "The Believer's Voice of Victory" and mentioned that God long ago shared a phrase with him that long ago that really helped him, and it speaks to me as well: When it comes to people doing things for you, helping you out, presume nothing; be thankful for everything. That's something that's been on my heart do much for a bit now--people are so generous to me, but the key is never to _expect_ them to be so but to just be thankful. It's a great release and an invaluable key to remember. Thank You, Father, for the admonishment.

thankful

Today, I'm thankful for, among other things, a great, late birthday card from some very special people. I'm also thankful for time to chill and time to sleep and for things just working out well.

Thanks for all of this, Father, and for this blog. I love You. :D

This is such a great way of sharing/witnessing of what God's doing in my life. Thank you, Reader, for reading this and for letting it or what I'm sharing, or what God's sharing through me to you, affect you, whenever it does, in a positive way. That's kinda the point. One of them anyway. :)

If anybody reading this is not saved, I encourage you to look into it--to take the gift that God's offering you, the one and only way into Heaven--as a pastor friend of mine says, "We don't earn it, we don't work for it; we just receive it." I like this article on the subject.

If you feel led (drawn) to, pray this prayer out loud so you can hear it, and mean it: "God, take my life and do something with it." Then share it with somebody and find a good church, one where the Word of God (the Bible) is preached and get in it. God will see you through. :)

the day

Today, I'm grateful for a great day of filming. Great results, great people to work with, great grace shown by the cemetery and by my sister. Thank you all, and thank You, Father, for bringing it all together. :D

things for which I'm grateful

1) we film tomorrow. :)
2) good potential deal on a printer from Sam's Club
3) healing in my eye (it had gotten red and sore, from staying up too long, I think)
4) overtime check
5) 401K check came and is re-deposited now
6) wardrobe for tomorrow's shoot
7) good, cheap gloves--$20 at Dillard's. :D

Thank You, Father, for all of this. :)

-Sean

it works out

The stuff I'd been having difficulty with yesterday? That looks like it's gonna work out. Praise and thank God for that! :D

grace

Some stuff didn't work out so well today, yet it, through the grace of God, might have been the right thing: I had a script turned down, which was not a surprise given the type of company to which I sent it, but in the note I got, the person who read it said they admire me as a writer. I think that's pretty cool. I'm also grateful to God for the grace to accept the rejection of the script, as I'm more actor than writer anyway. Thank You, Father, for grace on both sides.

"finisher"

Jesus is the "author and finisher" of my faith. I'd had trouble with that. A lot. Until this morning, when God, in a message through Jerry Savelle (I believe in these messages that God speaks through various people), made it clear to me: another word for "finisher" is "perfecter". That crystallised it for me: like finishing a chair--putting the final touches onto it. Another phrase might be complete developer. As to author: God wrote the Bible, which is where we get the stuff in which to put faith; His Word. So, Author--starter and Finisher--completer. God's showing me now how it is that He gets us through and is with us all the way as our faith grows and develops to maturity. Remarkable stuff--what is in what one thinks of as a little phrase...

Thank You for the insight, Father.

time

Listening to a message delivered by Keith Moore--just realised on a deeper level that God's helping me redeem time by working at my main job rather than two jobs--I can get so much more in such a shorter time by doing overtime at the main job--so I have a bit more free time but still without losing money. Glory to God for that! Thank You, Father.